Donna: My podcast guest today is Carla Bond. Carla is a wife and Mum to three gorgeous children. She's also one of the most kind hearted women that I have the pleasure of knowing. We actually live in the same, sunny side town in Queensland, and she and I have had some great conversations over the years that we've known each other.
Carla is a business owner. She runs a hairdressing salon and she's the founder and creator of ‘Think, Feel You’, a Body Confidence online course and community for women designed to fuel their mind, body, and soul, so that they can feel incredible and truly live their best lives now and in the future, to create impact for generations to come.
So in our chat today, we talked about people pleasing and the effect that it can have, not just on your choices, but also on your soul. How pouring from an empty cup helps no one. And that where you are right now in this season of life is right where you need to be. It's okay, just to be.
Carla is a self-confessed beach, coffee and happiness lover. And I'm sure you'll agree. After listening to this podcast, she's also very passionate about inspiring and empowering women to feel limitless and confident. So grab yourself a cuppa and enjoy Carla's words of wisdom.
Okay. So Carla, welcome to the She’s In Business podcast.
Carla: Hi Donna.
Donna: So we just live a few minutes from each other, so I feel like we should give fair warning to our listeners that once we get talking, it's really hard to stop, but we've known each other for a few years now, more recently, I feel like I don't know about you, but I feel like we've gotten to know each other on a deeper level.
And I feel that what I've discovered through that is that we have really similar philosophies and values on life too, so, I don't know if you agree on that, but that's how I kind of feel. And I think that we're both reformed people pleasers, or at least I'm really working on that. It's not always easy, but I am working on that every day.
And so that's the kind of stuff that I really want to unearth with you today during today's podcast, because in the intro, I mentioned that you help women to make themselves their priority in life. And people pleasing is a huge thing for women, I think. But before we dig into that, what led you to wanting to support women in that way?
Carla: Well, first of all, thank you for having me, Donna. And I completely agree with you because I do feel like we've got to know each other a lot better. And I guess that makes it easier to be able to have these conversations because sometimes we have this sort of surface level relationship, and then often there's a lot more going on underneath the surface and it's not until you get to have those deeper conversations that you, sort of start to connect and realize that you're not alone in some of these journeys and experiences. So yes, it's very exciting to be here on your podcast today.
So a bit about my journey is that I, a couple of years ago, I was basically just completely burnt out and exhausted, and I was basically living for everybody else and it was a bit of a wake up call for me because I was living an amazing life.
But I wasn't actually living. And as a part of that realization, I kind of woke up to the fact that I hated the way that I looked and felt. And when I got even more real with myself, I felt completely lost. Like I didn't even know who I was anymore in that moment, because I'd spent so many years being and doing for everyone else that...I just was on the bottom of my priority list.
And so I knew at that moment that the only person that could turn that around was me. And so I began that climb. And what happened from there was I guess, an unfolding of so many things that I didn't expect to happen. And so once I've gone through that process myself, and I realized how good I felt and how much more I actually had to give to everyone else in my life.
I felt really inspired and kind of had this fire in my belly to want to help other women through that same journey of finding themselves and feeling amazing and sort of stepping away from that people pleasing, aspect of their life. And to know that it's okay to be able to put yourself first and fill yourself up so that you can actually be of more value.
Donna: Yeah, absolutely.
And, you know, I reckon so many women feel that same way. Like we do go about our lives to try and help everybody as much as we possibly can. And I'm a mum of two, and I know you're a mum of three. And we also run our own bricks and mortar businesses as well as online businesses. So it can be a lot.
And along with that, like, as your journey and your career, as aside from doing the amazing work that you do with the women in your online course now, before that, like, tell us about your journey as a hairdresser and have that as also like opened up your, understanding of women in that way, because I think it is really good for other women to know that they're not alone.
And that it's a, it's a common thing. And, and when you sit in a hairdresser's chair, there's something that amazing happens. Just start to talk about how you feel, right.
Carla: A hundred percent. I couldn't agree with that more. And you know, I love my hairdressing space. It's quite a private little salon, so I'm fortunate enough to get to work in a more sort of one-on-one or private environment.
I think that also helps women open up that bit more, but it is, there's something about being in your personal space. And I think also as a hairdresser, I'm standing behind you. So it's really easy to open your mouth and let all of those words come out in like a nonjudgmental space. There is definitely something special about the relationship between women and the hairdresser.
So as you would imagine, I've heard, many women's stories and got insights into many women's lives. And it is the people pleasing aspect is something that comes through so often. And so regularly that we are just so busy and doing everything for everybody else. And for me, I think it came up a lot in conversations because, for so many women having their hair done was the only time that they took out for themselves.
So, I really always tried to honor that space and make women sort of feel really nurtured and heard, I think in that space, because it is the only time that they get to, to have that. And I think it's a really special time to be able to have the conversations and then have them walk out feeling one that they're not alone, too, a little more refreshed and revived. Like I love that little spring and people's step as they walk out the door. And it's just nice to have those conversations.
Donna: Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So true. And do you reckon, like talking about people-pleasing and, you know, circling back to your journey that you explained to us just before. We all get to that point where, and I've been there too, where you're absolutely exhausted and you start to look around you and go, this is not the dream life that I had visioned for myself.
It's not that it's a bad life. Like it's a great life. I've got healthy children. I'm in a great relationship. I'm lucky to have a roof over my head, all of those things, but at your inner core, it's like an inner, sort of thing, isn't it like that? Holy moly, like what is going on with me? Why am I not happy with where I'm at? When the people-pleasing realization comes in? Like, what was that moment of realization for you?
Carla: That's a really good question because I think people pleasing is like a bit of a, it's a bit of a merry-go-round that you jump on and you just keep going and going and going. And what happens is that, I know for myself and for a lot of other women, what happens is when we do things for other people, we get recognition for that.
And I didn't realize this at the time that I was doing it, but I, I think I almost essentially became addicted to that. So when you're doing things for other people, people are telling you that you're great, and thank you so much, and you know, they're feeding, a sense within us, like a basic human need within us.
And so what I began to realize over time is that's exhausting because to continually get that validation and that recognition and that appreciation and that love, it means that you're. Keeping on going with that people pleasing and you just kind of up the ante because you want more of it. And what I realized eventually is that I was looking outside of myself for all of those things.
So now I.. I still love to please people. So the people pleasing is actually not necessarily a problem unless it's happening at the detriment of your own self. But what I've learned to do is be able to give myself love and appreciation and acknowledgement and all of those things that I was relying on an outside source for.
And so once I sort of changed that game and realized. The one person that could continually give that to myself every single day was me. And so now I can please people or do things for people from a filled up heart centered space, rather than actually going out and doing things just to keep everyone happy and unconsciously, just waiting for people to tell me I was awesome.
Donna: Yeah. And do you think that comes from a place of self worth, like, or lack of self-worth like, is that what you found in not only your own journey, but in helping other women as well?
Carla: Absolutely. And so these can sort of stem from quite an early age. You know, when we're kids, we do something good and people like good girl, and you get that recognition for doing good things and being a good person and all that sort of stuff.
So what happens in life is, you know, everything's a series of steps, beliefs and experiences. So every time we do something and someone's like, that's amazing. Thank you. You, you know, that's so great. You're a good girl. It just starts to feed that, that driver, I guess, of seeking approval.
But what happens is so many women, I have that moment where they feel like they're not enough. And like internally within themselves, they have that not enough moment where it might be, you know, not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough. Not enough around the house. So not enough in business, I'm not enough in their drive or whatever it is.
And so to counteract out in a, not enoughness like that, people pleasing is like a little break from that because it's that instant recognition where someone else is sort of giving you that justification that you are enough, but you don't really believe it.
Donna: Yeah, absolutely. I know for me, like, I've been in the trap before where the amount of work and the success of my work is where my self worth gets topped up. And it's, like I said, at the beginning of our podcast, when we first started, it's a continual work in progress for me. Cause I feel like it's so ingrained. And I was thinking about it while preparing for our podcast today, over the last couple of days, I've been thinking about it.
And for me, I can see how it stems from a really young age for me. And it's interesting because like you said, I think it was, it was well, like, it was well meant at the time, like good girl you're doing really well, and for me it was being up on stage and performing and that's where I got that sudden burst of like, feel good, you know, this feels awesome. And that rush kind of thing. Plus that validation from the people around me. And then as I grew older and knew that I wanted to make performing part of my, my career choice, I had to work really hard to make sure that I could get into the university that I wanted to get into with the right grades and audition and all of that.
And it's sort of like, I became a workhorse just at that stage, you know, in my teenage early, early twenties. And then it's just kind of like continued. It's become like a habit for me over the years. I'm working on it now that it doesn't necessarily have to, I don't have to work hard to prove my worth, but it's really interesting, isn't it?
Often that self-worth does sometimes come from a place, if we really dig into it, that could be quite painful to dig into, because I don't know, I get, like when I look at things and it is all about self-reflection right, and also looking at other people's experiences and drawing the lessons from that as well, but that sense of earning conditional love, and that can be a really painful thing to unpack.
Because you know that as a human being, ideally, it should always be unconditional love, but usually, well not, I shouldn't say usually, but often people have experienced some kind of conditional love, which then feeds that self-worth
Carla: Well, there's so many aspects we could totally unpack in that! Yeah.
And something, sort of taken on board now is because, you know, I understand my mum was an amazing mum and she was busy and, and all that sort of, she was just a beautiful person, but those messages still didn't come through, and now as a mum myself, I try really hard to be aware of the language that I use with my children.
And I can see, even when they say yes to something, I will often turn around and say to them now, Are you saying yes, because you actually want to do that or are you saying yes to keep whoever it is happy? And it's a question that a lot of the time puts the kids like stops them in their tracks, because I think when I grew up, we were sort of told a bit more what to do, and we just went along with all of those things and that again becomes part of our nature.
Whereas I'm trying to bring light to that. I think with my own children, And give them a little bit more of a voice in the direction that they are choosing every day, because it's not like you're so right. It's not that we ever fully arrive in times like this, you know, I've been really diving deep on this sort of work for a couple of years now.
And just when you think you've got it all sorted, something happens and you're like, ah, how did I get back here? What is that about? Like I know better than that. So I think it's something that we're always, you know, because as humans we're ever growing and we're ever changing and wherever evolving, there's always different things, especially when we're in business, that's going to come up different opportunities that present and stuff like that. So, We always have to come back in and check with ourselves. Is this what we want? Like when we're saying yes to things, is that what we actually want? Or are we doing it just for either that recognition, or to keep someone else happy or whatever other attachment we think is tied to that yes .
Donna: Absolutely. And sometimes it can be that fear of, if I say no to this opportunity, especially in business, I think you're like, well, if I say no to that, what if I don't get that opportunity again? Or like, what if that closes the door on me working with that person? Because right now I can't do it and I don't want to say no.
And when I talk to my clients and I practice it myself, is I always say, if you're saying yes to something, then you're actually also saying no to something else. And maybe in saying yes to fitting in that extra client at 6:00 PM on a Tuesday night actually means that you're saying no to reading a book to your child and putting them to bed that night.
And so it's about just being really conscious. Isn't it of making the choice rather than just saying like that word yes. Comes out of your mouth before you've even really thought about it. Yes so often
Carla: That's so right. And I think the biggest thing there is that when, you know, your values, your answers to what you're going to do, you know, it becomes so much more aligned and so much easier for you to say yes and say no.
And I think it's important to know that we can say no and still be a good person.
Donna: Yes.
Carla: Saying no is completely fine. And it doesn't have to just be a, no, it can, you know, there's a million ways that we can say no. And one thing definitely that helps is to remove the need of replying instantly. Like the more we think about it, you give yourself that time and space to actually be able to speak your truth kindly, but a hundred percent, if you knuckle in on your values and you begin to live more in alignment with them, then you start to naturally sway away from the things that you don't necessarily want to do.
And only saying yes to the things that, within your value system and that, you know, uh, going to light you up and, and help you in that direction that you want to go in.
Donna: Yeah, for sure. And, you know, really knuckling down and going, okay, what are my values? And there's, I think there's a difference between your personal value set and your business value set.
And there's an overlap for sure, but being really clear about what those things are. And then the thing that I think is really good, if you are new to saying no, which is really hard to say no, if you're a people pleaser. And I find if you construct a couple of sentences that you can have kind of like in your back pocket, so that if someone is really, really wanting an answer from you, you've already got kind of a pre-constructed no, that comes with absolute kindness, but aligns to your values.
And the other thing too, I think. I dunno if you've ever experienced it, but if you say no to someone and they don't accept that, no. And you sort of get that extra nudge and that extra push and they just, they just don't want to accept that no, or you feel that you may upset them and there might be an adverse reaction or, you know, it might compromise your relationship.
How has there been things that have worked for you, but also, like, I just want to share that I find in those sorts of circumstances, they either haven't done self work on themselves so that I understand how important it is to sometimes say no, or they don't respect you or your values, and so why would you want to kind of say yes to that anyway?
Is that something that you've sort of found as well? Or have you got other techniques that people might be able to use in saying no. If it's not a natural, comfortable place for them.
Carla: Yes. A hundred percent. So going back to the start of what you just said there. We're talking about value systems and how we've got, you know, often two completely from parts of that.
Like, because we've got our own personal life and values, and then we've got our, as women in business, we've got that professional sense as well. And so what I found, particularly in my people pleasing sort of earlier days is that I definitely didn't understand the difference between the two. So it was almost like there was two parts of me, like I had, Mum Carla, and then I had business Carla and business Carla wanted to say yes to so many things that would impact Mum Carla yes. So knuckling down, like I always kept asking myself, you know, when I was looking at the values that I had for both of them, what is the higher purpose of that? You know, when I was on each aspect of my life, I was like, For what purpose for what purpose, for what purpose.
And that really helped me not out, not only my values, but a combined set of values between both business Carla and personal Carla, because what I often find is those two parts are in conflict with each other. But at the end of the day, both want really similar things like that, freedom and that abundance and all of that sort of stuff.
So it's really coming back to getting a very clear direction on how those two parts of us can work together and find that sort of center ground. So, that we are more aligned across the board because there's always going to be the business side and the personal side, but they work so much more harmoniously together and you get into more of a flow zone rather than pushing when you fighting against those two parts of yourself.
So that's probably that part and the same note side of things, like I actually had a conversation with one of my clients and she had a work party that she didn't want to go to. And this sort of pops up quite a bit for people because in work sort of environments, it's a different space than if you're just catching up with your girlfriends.
You know, there's often a couple of different personalities and things like that. That sort of, not necessarily a hundred percent wanting to go can sneak into gear there. And so for this lady, I said, well, why are you going? And she said, because I should. And I said, well, we need to just flat out, stopped shooting all over ourselves because there's so many things in life that we should or could, or whatever do, but they're unnecessary.
And I think we built ourselves up so much in going down that path of I should. And so I said to her, just tell them, you're busy, tell them you've got something on and she's that, but I don't have anything on. I said, well, you could have a date with your bath and you know, a cup of tea or a glass of wine, I said, that's busy.
They don't need to know what kind of busy you've got on it. And she laughed and she's like, Oh, my God. Yes. So she did, she said no to the party and she had a bath and she said it just completely set herself up for the week, rather than going sort of to the event, not really enjoying it, but then it throwing her out and then she ends up on this negative spiral.
So it's sort of sometimes almost saying no to an event, you’re right Donna in the sense that you have to understand what we're actually saying. When we're saying yes to something else, what we're saying no to in ourselves and sometimes your time and your energy is so much better spent doing the things that you actually want to do, like, rather than going out of UI, just to do the other things for all the other people.
And so upsetting people is something that kind of can come naturally to that field, especially when we start, because we can be a little bit clunky. No saying because it doesn't come naturally to us, but something I definitely would say is that the people that do get upset with that probably yes, either haven't done the work or, they're actually jealous of you because they don't see that in themselves yet, but they feel like everyone else should be doing all these things. So sometimes it makes people feel uncomfortable when you say no, because they actually would like to say no to, but they don't know how of it doesn't sit right with them.
So what I've found is over time, like I used to think I'm going to upset people and I'm going to, you know, people aren't going to like me as much. If I say no to a client, I'm going to lose them, blah, blah, blah. And what I found was the absolute opposite. So the more I started to value myself in my time, the more other people valued me and my time.
So in business, I had a real trouble saying no. So I, so I put in place a booking system into my hairdressing business and people were getting on saying your booking systems broken because I can't get in for three months. And I go, no, that's actually, that's actually how it is. But I was just saying yes, and squeezing people in and killing myself in the process, but people were completely unaware.
So once they realized how busy I was, they were more than happy to book and book in advance and things like that. So I think it's something that we build ourselves up or that is that people aren't going to accept our no and that they're not going to, that, they're going to think less of us per saying no. And in my experience, it's the absolute opposite.
Donna: So, so good. It's really comes down to that self care. Doesn't it? Like you're honoring yourself and making sure that you are showing up for yourself first, like you said, at the very beginning of the podcast, and then from there, you can serve in the way that you want to serve, rather than serving from that empty cup, that, that phrase that we hear so often fill ourselves up first. And then we can give where we want to give. Without it being at the detriment of our health or at the detriment of our family and the people that mean the most to us. So, so important.
Carla: It is so important. And I think, you know, that little saying, everyone knows that you can't pour from an empty cup, but it is so true.
And I think we forget that the whole purpose of us pleasing people and doing all these things is, to give people to give to people full stop. But what happens is that we're actually not really giving to people when we've got nothing else to give, like you're running on empty. You're coming at it with such a, a lower energy space.
Whereas if you actually take that time and I know it sounds so corny, but to fill yourself up first, like you, your energy is better. Your like you're operating on a much higher frequency. You've got more love to give, like you really are serving from a place of, just love because that is what you're feeling like.
There's a, there's another little analogy that says, you know, if I bumped into you and you're holding a cup of coffee, what spills out and it's coffee. But if you're holding a cup of tea and someone bumped into you, what spills out it's tea, and I think in, you know, for us as humans, whatever's going on inside of us, when things get a bit rough and when we get pushed around.
Whatever's going on inside of us is going to come out. So if we're tired and burnt out and stressed and snappy and a bit frustrated internally, that's going to come out when push comes to shove. Whereas if we make a conscious effort of filling ourselves up, When things go wrong in our day, whether it's with our children or whether it's with our business or whether someone randomly just walks past you in the street.
And in those moments, when push comes to shove, you not coming at it from a negative space, you're coming at it from just this light and love energy. And it just makes such an impact in your day and in your life and in your business.
Donna: Yeah, absolutely. I think too, like when you, I genuinely feel like you have that cup and it's full and it's in you have more energy, you can then make choices for yourself in your self care or make choices to advance your business, grow your business, sign up for a course, whatever it might be.
To grow within yourself because you've got the energy to do it. And then you're less likely to feel that resentment towards other people or sometimes what I see a lot is that amazing women in business who have the potential to do really, really well. And they know that they have that potential, they know their business has the potential, but they're so burnt out that they resent what it is, that's making them well on the surface feel burnt out, which is their business. Whereas instead if they're filling themselves up, if they're saying no to things that don't light them up or don't align with their values, And the energy comes back and then they can go, Hey, you know, I'd actually really like to do this for myself, or I'd like to learn more about this for my business to expand on my skills and my knowledge so that I can create more freedom in my business to be more around my family when I want to be.
But it really does start from that understanding and that self care and reflecting, I reckon, you know, like actually taking the moment to stop and pause and listen to the woman inside of you. Like that voice. That's probably been screaming at you for a while, but you've been ignoring.
Carla: Yes. And so much about that is true in business. Like if we, we could say yes to a million things, like there's an endless list of things that we can say yes to in business. And I think being really clear on our values, but also on the why, like for what purpose we're doing that business. And when we sort of get super clear on that, We then understand, like not taking every client on and not taking every opportunity on, you know, being so clear and having like a real compelling vision.
Helps you to be able to narrow that little funnel of what we say yes. And what we don't. And we just kind of think of it as like keeping in your lane, because there's so many shiny objects along the way in life in general, that it's really easy to get distracted. And you say yes to one thing that's a little bit off course.
And then from there you say yes to another thing, and then, like we kind of end up so far off track, like with heading in the same direction-ish, but we're not right back where we really want to be. And I think in life it's, it's okay for us as women, that's going to happen. Like we're going to go off track and we're going to do these things because we don't know until we know.
But I think at the end of the day, if you can be really sensitive, in the why and the deeper meaning of that, it allows you to say yes to the things that really matter. And to recognize that feeling within ourselves when we're doing something and we're like, hold on a minute, I feel like I'm a little off track. I need to get onto back on to all of those things that, you know, habits and the rituals and the ways that, you know, that helped you live in alignment.
Totally.
Donna: And I think another analogy which I play in my head all the time as well is like steering a ship. And if you don't have a compass, which is your why, or, you know, you don't have them the map, which is maybe your plan or your goals for whatever it is that you're doing, be it personal or business, then how can you get to where you want to get to? And I think the other thing too, is that we have seasons in life, right. And we've talked about this when we have our chats, which go and go and go, but you know, the season of, okay, so we're now in the season when our kids are young and that's where I am right now, you're in the season where your kids are teenagers.
And so just like steering that ship with our compass and our map. We also have seasons to navigate through whether it's, we're going through a storm or whether it's a beautiful sunshiny day and everything's feeling fine and the waters are calm and that all plays into it too, right? So I love that you brought up the subject of, you know, the point of knowing your why, because if you don't know your why then how can you know your values to then say yes or to say no to things?
Carla: And I think that's a really good point to bring up because you know, a lot of our conversation is sort of being, you know, in a perfect world and we get to choose yes or no. But the reality is that as Mums and as business owners and wives and everything else there is those different seasons and, and, you know, I've been through lots of different seasons myself and I think, when our kids a little, you are on autopilot of doing everything for everyone else, because that is just how it has to be. And you know what I think when I look back on that, my advice to people in that stage of life is to just enjoy that time, because I feel like we fight against that a little bit and want to be doing so much more. But those don't necessarily last for all that length of time. So it's okay to sort of have like two sets of goals, you know, like more of immediate goals, but like also the bigger picture so that when we're in a season that's not so very easy and it's not so amazing, but don't you lose sight of that bigger picture and that bigger goal, but also be kind to yourself in that moment and in that stage.
So I think sometimes we get caught up in like, the doing and the be and do and have it all, that we forget that the only moment we've really got is right now. And so that moment right now is you supporting your children or if your husband's going through something and you, you taking on a little bit of extreme that space or whatever it is in life.
Like I think yes, definitely having that, that bigger vision, but that understanding and that okayness to just be where you are. There's beauty in that.
Donna: Yeah, totally. And we're human beings. Like this is the thing that I think is probably a really beautiful way to wrap this up is that we're human beings, not necessarily human doings, and sometimes we just need to be, and we just need to accept and almost ‘what's that word?’ like, surrender to the season that we're in. And I've totally been in that space where you're like, oh yeah, but I, I want to do this for my business. I want to grow it in this way, but my kids were just not at the stage where I could do that because, and, you know, having that balance and that word balance is a really tricky one.
I use it a lot in what I do, because we try to get that balance between being a mom and being a business owner and taking time for self care. But the reality is that balance is never perfect. It's like a scale, you know, like it, it weighs one way or the other, and it's that season that continually changes.
And it's not always the perfect balance, but if we've got that, that, I guess, that goal to make sure that we're tending to each of those needs within ourselves, then hopefully that balance will feel a little easier. It'll feel a little bit more in flow with what our soul really needs, because I think the, on the opposite side, if we're so, so driven by being a Mum, we're not listening to, like being a mom as in that's the society that expects us to be a certain type of mom in a certain way and not do all that. But inside you're craving to do what you want to do, which has been business. Like that's hard as well. But like you said, it's just about accepting that where you are right now is actually where you need to be.
And it's totally okay. Because it will all still be there after that season has passed.
Carla: Absolutely. And I think, you know, like you touched on your soul, there, and like, if you can just be like, if anyone's listening to this podcast today, take a moment to just sit and just be because when we're inspired and we want to do all of these things, we can fall in the track of feeling every moment of every day.
And you know, we're actually more creative and more like, efficient in our business and stuff like that. If we take that time out and it sounds so dumb to stop completely, you know, if you can just sit outside and listen to the birds and hone in on all of those sorts of things, I think in life we get, so busy that we go so fast that we miss out on so much stuff.
So I think in my journey, when I look back, I realized that I had to actually become less so that I could become more. And just being, and coming back to just being who I was really helped that transition. And then you touched on balance as well. And it's so funny, like balance is something that comes up so much for working Mums and, I honestly don't think that you such thing as work-life balance because in any given day or any given moment, there's different aspects of our life that are going to demand different amounts of our time and energy at any stage. So I think we need to cut ourselves some slack there and learn to kind of dance with, with the journey of our day.
Like we've got our ideals and we've got our plan and stuff like that. The reality is it never really goes to plan. And so we have to have that ability to just dance with it and go with the flow to some degree because perfection, like finding perfection in that, it's just a myth like perfection is so crazy.
All it does is get us ready for feeding out. Not enoughness because. Perfection is just something that I think we really need to blow open and sort of boss to the need for perfection. Because it's just like a really slippery slope to not enoughness and burn out. And I think the more that we get real with that, and sort of drown out that white noise of the world and those expectations that come at us in any, in so many different ways, every day, all the messages that we receive and stuff like that, if we can drown that out and just be and come back to the truth of who we are and why we're doing what we're doing and just gives us ourselves so much more value and so much more joy in life, because I guess we do all of this stuff to reach these awesome destinations, but the happiness is in the journey. So we need to just remember that as we're going.
Donna: Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. So if you're listening to this podcast right now, I think Carla and I had given you a nudge to take a moment to pause and just be for a little while and reconnect with yourself and give yourself the opportunity to really listen to what's going on inside your soul and make sure that when you're saying yes to people, that it's for all the right reasons, rather than it draining that cup of yours.
So, Carla, thank you so much. I really enjoyed our chat today. And as predicted, we have totally filled our time with barely any effort in talking to each other at all. It's so lovely to speak with you. And maybe next time I get you on the podcast, we could talk about perfection and dig into that a little bit.
Cause that's definitely something that I think, like you said, needs to be blown open and talked about way more.
Carla: I would love that. Thank you so much, Donna. Thank you so much for having me. And I just want to quickly touch one little thing before we finish. That's just popped into my mind and I do a lot of work around body confidence, but people pleasing ties in with this so much because if anyone's listening and they feel a little lack lethargic in their body or they're, you know, not loving themselves in that aspect.
What I also find is that your body is often a reflection of what's going on in your mind and in your life. So people pleasing for me was probably the very beginning of me starting to find that love and confidence within myself. So if anyone is struggling with that as well, I want you to know that a diet or the next gym membership, isn't going to fix that sort of thing.
It's that inner soul work and the stuff that Donna and I have spoken about today. That's going to help you and positively impact so many areas of our lives. So I think that's really, you know, it's fun and exciting because when you start to do some of this inner personal work, it has a flow on effect that sometimes they couldn't even imagine.
Donna: Thank you. Absolutely. So Carla, if people want to know about your course, which is called: "Think, Feel, You" where can they find more information about the course and about your journey and the different things that you put out there into the world to help women?
Carla: Absolutely. So my website is carlabond.com and you’ll find me on Instagram @Carla_bond_
And so between both of those places, you will be able to contact me and find out, everything that's going on.
Donna: Awesome. You're fabulous. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. And we'll catch you for another episode on perfection real soon.
Carla: Amazing, thanks so much.
