Donna Hann
The guest that I have for you today on the podcast is a rule follower gone rogue Kel coral is a lifelong learner and adventurer, a spiritual enthusiast and has a passion for all things mindset. With over 16 years of experience of being her own boss and running multiple companies Kel has learned what it takes to be successful, not just in business, but in life too. So of course, when I met Kelly in person, I was instantly drawn to her. She knows firsthand the importance of creating and maintaining positive practices to ensure a strong mindset. And she's also worked with women for the past 25 years in what she describes as the industry of people and personality types, which we'll explore more when we chat. As a women's fashion retail manager, a beauty therapist, personal stylist, life coach, and as the creator and facilitator of women's in person retreats or workshops, Cal has learned that all too often women put themselves last Cal supports and inspires women with accountability and transformational strategy so that they can take control of their mindset, step into their confidence and live a passionate fulfilled life. Today I'm going to uncover why Kel calls herself a rule follower gone rogue, and how self accountability and activating internal change is the key to living the life that you want.
Donna Hann
Hello, I'm Donna Hann, a business coach, and an online course creator. And this is the shiz in business podcast. You can think of me as your business bestie, who's a few steps ahead of where you are right now. As a month fueled with ambition and determination. I've created and sold three businesses. I've learned the lessons made mistakes, and I understand the daily juggle in the hustle. I also know what it's like when relationships fray and burnout taps you on the shoulder. That was my world until I reshaped and transformed the way I ran my six figure business. Today I help women to transform their businesses and go from being the overwhelmed entrepreneur to becoming the thriving entrepreneur feeling energized, empowered and fulfilled within their business lifestyle. I want to inspire your business journey and help you to stop spinning your wheels, because I want you to burn bright instead of burning out. And I'll invite other entrepreneurs to share their real life stories too, because I want you to know that you're not alone. You can be the savvy entrepreneur that you were born to be and enjoy the freedom to do the things and be present with the people that mean the most to you. So if you're ready to rise to the next level and build a business by design, this is the shoes in business podcast for moms who are made for more.
Donna Hann
Welcome to another episode of the shoes in business podcast. I'm your host, Donna Hann and today I'm joined with the amazing Kell coral. Hey Kell.
Kell
Hey, nice to be here!
Donna Hann
I've just got to say first up Kell is such a style spunk. So she looks fab. You look fab every time I see you. And I know we've only seen each other a couple of times in person. But yeah, I just am always in awe of how great you look. And if I'm ever around your area, I want you to take me shopping and style me up.
Kell
That is so kind and yet, let's do it. Let's do it.
Donna Hann
So, today, I really want to talk to you about self accountability and activating internal change to live the life you want. So I know that's so in your bag. But first things first, I'd love for you to introduce yourself. Share a little bit about your journey through business and what it is that you do today.
Kell
Awesome. Well, thank you for having me. So as you said, my name is Kell Quarrell. I've been in business for myself. for over 16 years. I've worked with women for over 25 years, which simply blows my mind. And I have done many things. I started out as a manager of a fashion retail store. Before I became a beauty therapist, I had my own Alaba che franchise for 10 and a half years. Whilst that was happening. I also became a personal stylist, which I still do. I don't advertise I just do word of mouth. And I also for the last nearly seven years have been coaching and mentoring women but also creating and facilitating live events, which unfortunately COVID killed that business. But it was an it was an absolutely sensational ride. And yeah, I just I love being I guess the director of my own life and I love working with women And I just, I would say at the heart, I'm like a entrepreneurial businesswoman.
Donna Hann
Love it. And in your bio, you describe yourself as a rule follower gone rogue.
Kell
Yeah.
Donna Hann
Tell me, what does that mean?
Unknown Speaker
So I guess when I look back at who I was, as a teenager in high school, I was a true rule follower. You know, I was the, the kid that went to school that never did anything wrong. That strived for the good grades, I was well behaved at home. You know, I had a clean room I did, you know, I was pretty much that that kid. And I guess, as I have grown up and gone through life as a woman, and as we do, we evolve, and we have children, and we have different experiences. I'm probably someone now that if you tell me I have to do something, I'm going to not do it just to piss you off. If you give me a whole set of rules, that I don't agree with, then there's going to be a whole lot of pushback. So yeah, it's just it's one of those things that I've really upon reflection realize that whilst as a teenager, I've loved the rules, and I didn't want to ever be doing anything wrong to now being someone that is quite happy to go against the grain and, and be being unique and make my mind up for myself.
Donna Hann
Yeah. And how have you found that that's really shifted in the ripples or the impact that it's made in life?
Kell
That's a great question. Interestingly, I probably see it in my girls, I've got a 13 year old and 11 year old girls, and I guess from me, perhaps thinking a little outside of the square and pushing back on what is maybe classed as normal. They do too, which can be challenging when you're the parent, then you want to do rightly tell them because they've learned from you. So that's, that's interesting. But I think particularly in my previous company, she can when we were running live events, and coaching and mentoring women, from all different backgrounds of all different ages, kind of being able to pass that on to them and give them the ability to say, hey, just because it seems like it's the way it needs to be done isn't always the case for you, as an individual, and to be able to be self reflective and to self evaluate, to become the most self aware that you can, so you can make decisions based on what's going to work for you best.
Donna Hann
Yeah. And that's so important in that reflection, and actually giving yourself the time and the opportunity to do that is probably I think, for me, when I look back on my previous businesses, probably the biggest mistake that I made was not doing that. And once I started to do that, that's when I saw real success happen, not just in my business, but also in my personal life as well. And in the way that I felt within myself.
Kell
Yeah, and I think because let's be honest, life is busy. And when you're running a business, it's not the only thing that you're doing. Often, you might have a partner, you may have children. You know, some people, some of my clients have elderly parents that they care for, you know, there's a whole range of different things that were pulled in many different directions, that when we are busy, we just get on autopilot. And we don't self reflect and we don't self evaluate. And often we don't evaluate in business either. And then all of a sudden, I think you said before the wheels start to get wonky, and things start to go in a direction that we don't want to. And without that self reflection, we can't redirecting and get ourselves back on the straight and narrow, so to speak.
Donna Hann
Yeah. 100% agree. So when you talk about self accountability, I know that for me, that whole reflection piece and that self awareness piece is all wrapped up in that right. So can you explain to us and the like to me and the people listening? What does self accountability mean, when you're speaking about self accountability?
Kell
So you've nailed two components absolutely is self reflection and self awareness. I can't express enough how important it is for you to understand who you truly are, and how best you operate because we are all so different and that what is what makes us unique. Because when we truly understand why and how we are motivated I'm why we do the things that we do, we can then set up our lives to be self accountable to best support us in whatever it is that we are wanting to achieve. And I always use the most simple example for me is movement is one of my number one priorities. And I am the type of person that likes to move first thing in the morning. So it is done. I know that I have honored that part of my body. And I don't have to think about it for the rest of the day. Because I've been in situations where I've not moved in the morning and for the whole day, I recognize the amount of time energy and emotion I waste on thinking about the fact that I still have to do that before the end of the day.
Donna Hann
Yeah, makes sense.
Kell
Yeah. So I set my life up to be self accountable, to ensure that I get that done first thing in the morning. And so at the moment, for me, I'm in my F 45 chapter of life. I absolutely love it. But what it does is it ensures that I have to book into that class. And my mindset goes, I've now taken a spot away from someone else. If I don't show up, I'm going to cost that studio money. And so I set myself up to be self accountable with the strategies so that it's quite difficult for me to not go, yeah, actually easier to get out of bed when the alarm goes off, get changed, get in the car, go do the class. And that's how I set up being self accountable. Because I know, it is one of my highest priorities yet. I'm not actually what I would class a morning person. So if I wasn't if I wasn't setting myself up to ensure that I was accountable to that movement, I would be like many other people and and hit snooze.
Donna Hann
Yeah, yeah. So how can we relate that? Because it is a business podcast? How do we relate that to business as well.
Kell
So it's about really understanding where your priorities need to lie in your business. Because as as we are in business at different times, our focus needs to go to different things. So if you're in business, and you're a solo, like it's all on you, then you need to be very clear on where your time and energy needs to go to what area of your business, and I'm sure you can understand this, you've got podcasts, you've got group coaching, you've got one on one coaching, you've got events, you've got all of these things, all of those need to be, you know, mapped out and say, Okay, what are the priorities that need to get done in each of those areas? And then I say, Okay, from there, what what is it that only I can do? And when it is that is on up to you and on like, it's only you can do those things, we actually have to go to work and say how can I ensure that this gets done in the time that I have available? Do I need to have someone else on board with me to keep me accountable? I think significant others or partners in life are a great, you know, sounding boards and people that can hold you accountable accountability groups. So self accountability is not always leaving it up to yourself. It is about having the conscious awareness of how you operate. And to know who do i Who do I need? Or what do I need to assist me to be accountable to get the things done that I need?
Donna Hann
Yeah, yeah, I like that. The other thing as well that I, in working with people, one on one and in group coaching, and I certainly know what minor as well, is that self reflection, when you're thinking about accountability is looking for those things that you do to self sabotage or to procrastinate that you know, that you come back to all the time.
Kell
Absolutely. I think knowing it's really interesting. I coach on procrastination a lot. Because I think procrastination for a lot of people. They think it's sitting on the couch doing nothing. But there's different forms of procrastination. And it's basically understanding why it is that you procrastinate, and it always comes back to, you know, I guess who we are at our core, there's, you know, we might be a perfectionist, so often, we don't want to get started unless the conditions are, are perfect. Some of us might work really well under time pressure, so we would procrastinate and leave it to the last minute so that we can, you know, just power it out in the last 24 hour set. Everyone does things differently. And so it's understanding if you're self aware that you know that that's going to be the case. If you don't have the ability to change that then you work to that. You know, if you know that you're going to leave it to the last 20 For hours, you better make sure that that last 24 hours is clear and free to get it done.
Donna Hann
Yeah. Yeah. Yep. And if people are like, Yeah, I just, I don't even know where to start in like identifying the things that I need to be more aware of what kind of tips would you have to kind of get started.
Kell
I would suggest writing down all of the areas of life that currently relate to you. Now, I mean, if you go online, you can always find, you know, there could be the eight key areas of life, the 10 key areas of life. You know, the labels mean nothing, if they don't relate to what is actually reality for you. So I would say write down all of the areas that you have in your life. First and foremost, because often, if we're looking at business, we might know what we need to do in the business. But there may be a whole lot of other areas in life that are taking our time. So write down all areas of life, write down and brain dump all of the things that are taking up your mental capacity right now, for each of those areas. prioritize them in order of what is, you know, really, really needing to be done and make sure that that's super clear in each area. And then look at across that is a full life snapshot is where what really is my highest priority, what really needs to be done, and then that gets scheduled in to your diary. And then from a business perspective, you can take that one, you know, one step further and look at business just as a whole. What are the things that I'm really wanting to achieve? What are the things that really need to get done? What are the things that only I can do, and then breaking those down, you know, down further and further and further to we have single individual action steps that we can get done, I find when things seem too overwhelming, if we can break them down as small as possible, and get some quick wins, we can often build momentum. And that when we're working on our own, that really helps with being accountable to getting stuff done is that you can start to see, we're building momentum and working our way through those action steps.
Donna Hann
Yeah, yeah. And that's so important. I think, like you said, it can feel so overwhelming sometimes when you've got so much to do. And you're the only person in your business to do it, or, which is a lot of my listeners are either solopreneurs or maybe have, you know, a small team. But even still, it can be a lot to carry on your shoulders. And as you said, it's not just business, it's outside as well with managing your family and, you know, taking care of yourself and just like figuring out when am I going to get time to go and do the food shopping because it's looking a little bit bare.
Donna Hann
Hey, they're lovely, I have got a free resource as an early Christmas gift to you, to thank you for being a podcast listener, that during the silly season, I know firsthand that the Juggle of business and family is a little crazier than normal. So to save you time, when it comes to your social media marketing over that silly season period craziness, I have 25 Christmas Canva templates that you can download for free and personalize them for your business. To get them go to Donna hann.com forward slash silly season. My hope is that this gift will save you loads of time. And you can spend that time making Happy Christmas memories with your loved ones.
Donna Hann
Let's shift gears a little bit I want to talk about creating change in life because you know, like you I've been pretty agile over the years, moving through a couple of different industries, you know that that challenge when you become a mother and juggling business, and, you know, over the time that I've been in business, and navigated through those different seasons, and all of that kind of stuff. There's been a need for me to adapt a different mindset and different strategies to cope with that, you know, as a person as an individual, I am ambitious. And I'm unapologetic about that. That's just something that's always been ingrained in me for a long time. But I also need to be available to my family. And you know, particularly in the last, I would say, three to four years I've been really actively working towards creating the life that I want as my needs and my family has grown and changed. So from what I understand you work a lot in in this space. And so What you call activating internal change, to achieve the life that you weren't want, I first want to understand what does that really mean? Like, what does that incorporate? What are we really talking about?
Kell
I would say, first and foremost, it comes down to understanding what your beliefs are, and how they translate into your patterns of behavior. And so again, it goes back to that self reflection and self awareness, but just being able to identify, what are the things that you do that perhaps negatively impact your productivity, your effectiveness, or even your mood? And understand where does that come from? Where's that? Where's that belief? Or where's that pattern of behavior, that type of thinking that story? Where has that come from? More often than not, it comes from a lived and learned experience that we give a meaning to. And then we move through life, finding different situations to reaffirm the meaning or the story or the belief that we give it. And so when we become aware of that, we have the ability to reframe that, and shift that to become more of an empowering more positive story, which will then in turn, be able to change our thinking and then change our behavior. So for me, it's about really understanding, I guess, what is going on internally, from your lived and learned experiences, and that when you know that we can, you know, we can go to work on making those things work for us. And whether or not that's reframing or changing? It just it really depends on on what it is.
Donna Hann
Hmm. And is there like a process that you lead people through like a bit of a, like a method or a framework?
Kell
Yeah, absolutely. Is there's several frameworks, and it would be dependent on I guess, what is what is coming up. And what is kind of the, if it's a pattern that is occurring regularly, are often I find that if someone is triggered by something, they will have had a lived and learned experience that they've given a meaning and then something occurs in, in life. And it's like it triggers that past experience. So it's going back and unpacking that, and really going through that and saying, Well, why did I give it that meaning? And what could it have been and reframing that? And then often, the biggest one for me is what I call the hallucination transformation exercise. Quite a mouthful. But basically, what it is, is basically the hallucination is a story that we have given a certain meaning. And generally we give it a bit of a BS, meaning whether or not you want to call that what most people would say it means, but also a below standard, meaning, you know, we give it something that is not a meaning that is not empowering. And we go back and we say, well, what is that? Having holding on to that story? What is that costing us? And go through everything that it's costing us? But we also look at? What are the payoffs? What do we get through having that story? Because we wouldn't have it unless it gave us something? And then what can we do? What are three action steps we can do to reframe that story to a more positive story? And what would that story be, if you could change it, and then we go to work on creating an action plan, and getting into action? This is the big thing. For me, it's about knowing what the steps need to be, but then actually scheduling them and ensuring that they are done. And that comes back to what we talked about before about being self accountable as well.
Donna Hann
Yeah. You know, what I find really interesting is that we have the stories that we tell ourselves and we keep adding value to. And yet so often, when you said like, what is it that we get in return from it, it's negativity, but yet we keep doing it.Why would you do that?
Kell
And I think it's not until you unpack it that you say, Well, what is it good, you know, a lot of people will say, I will, it keeps me safe, you know, holding onto story might keep them safe. And it's not until they say that we go through it and they go, are they that's actually not keeping me safe. It's keeping me small. And it starts to win and and I go through this process, and they actually give them the spreadsheet so they can read it. And when they see it in black and white. It's like, oh my goodness. This is honestly I've given a meaning to an experience years ago often. Yeah, and I've just held on to that and also, the human mind has a net any bias, so you just naturally we go through and looking for these things to reaffirm our story. And so it's not until you see it in black and white, you kind of step out of the emotion of it all. And you can see it more logically there in front of you. You're just like, Why? Why would I want to hold on to that? Let's bluntly go to work on changing that. And it doesn't happen. Immediately. I mean, like, things you need to build the muscle and use the muscle repetitively for it to to change. But yeah, it's a really powerful framework to take people through.
Kell
Yeah. Because like, I mean, I'm, I'm sure I'm looking at it with a very simplistic form. But there's so many other ways and big things that would come out of it when you dig in. But, you know, just I think we'll, I've always told myself a story that I'm not very good with numbers, because I remember being in school in like, maybe like year three, and you used to do the timetable, shoot out, I don't know if you ever did that game as a kid, but you'd be on opposite sides of the room, and you'd be standing at the front of the line, and there'd be kids behind you and you'd go toe to toe like Sheriff Shoot Out, the teacher would call out, you know, a multiplication, and it was the first one to get it right. And I always really struggled with multiplication, it just never sat in my head. And so I would just getting closer to that front of the line, and I would get the hot flush. And I'd get really teary and emotional. And you know, I would just count myself out before I even got up there. And half the time, I would just let the other person shoot me out. So I didn't have to embarrass myself and say the wrong number. And I think that I took that through all the way through my schooling. And you know, even in, up until, you know, probably five years ago, I always put my head in the sand without really understanding my numbers in business, because I always just thought, Well, I'm just crap at that, like, I was never very good at it as a kid. But, you know, you go out and you get the skills that you need to really understand and pull apart your numbers. And the thing is, when you've got the right tools in place, it's actually not that hard. And that confidence comes over time, is that the kind of thing that we're talking about?
Kell
Absolutely. That's 100% the thing. And it's interesting, because a lot of people can't, or don't know exactly the moment in time where they form that story. So their story might be exactly the same as yours. I'm just crap with numbers like I've always like, I just avoid them like the plague. I don't like them. You know, as you said, put the head in the sand, don't like go into the accountant freak out when the bookkeeper sends me an email, like all of those things. Go back and you can actually tie it to an actual experience. You're like, okay, so I was nine. And I didn't like the times tables, and I've now made that believe, you know, make myself believe that I'm not good with numbers. So that's 100% what it is. And it's not until you go back, then you go, Okay, well, I'm no longer nine, no matter that I are no good at my times tables, I can still be good at what I need to know in regards to numbers. And I go out and learn what it is that I need to learn. And that yeah, that in itself does like incredible things. For your own, I guess confidence, though, it's talking about numbers. And it's one story that really helps you build the muscle of knowing that you can reframe things at any given time.
Donna Hann
Yeah, exactly. Right. And it does take work, like I still have to sometimes shake myself and go, No, you are okay. Like you, you may not be the strongest person when it comes to, you know, multiplication off the top of your head, I'm still not strong in that area. But I have a calculator. Like I have tools available to me and I have spreadsheets that I set the formulas, I'm clever, I'm smart, I can set the formulas in the cells, and I put the numbers in and it does it for me, you know, so there's ways around it. And it's just yet removing yourself from that. But do you find this any like fear or resistance in actually doing just the start to like, really unpack it? Because it's almost like, well, if I unpack it, am I opening up like a barrel of worms? And am I going to, like, just be a hot mess by the end of it?
Kell
100%? Absolutely. And I feel like that can be that can be the same feeling for anything when you're in overwhelm. Like if you're overwhelmed in business, if you're behind with your book work, if you know that perhaps it's a lien month, and there's not a lot of leftover in the bank. If you know maybe it's just that there's the tasks that are piling up in the background and the admins getting a little out of control. It's like you avoided at all cost. You will you will procrastinate and you will do different things because like Let's just not consider all of that stuff that's piling up in the background, because it's all too much. But what most people find, and I find myself personally, when I get into that situation is like, once you start, and you break it all down, it's never as bad as it seems there's always a solution to something. But often the time, energy and emotion we'd waste in avoiding the thing. Yeah, we redirected the same amount of time, energy and emotion into actually doing it, unpacking it, working through it, then it's done. Yeah, you know, and so I always say what we resist persists. So what we don't work on, never goes away. And what I find is it generally shows up in our bodies, in a different way. Yeah. You know, I think that's where we find, you know, people struggle with headaches, or back pain, or lethargy, or all of those things. It's often because there's something there that we're not dealing with. And it's generally because we've become overwhelmed at what appears to be the the bigness of it all.
Donna Hann
Yeah, yeah. And I can relate to that, you know, when you said, the admin, that builds up the little things that, you know, you've got to get to, but you never feel like you're gonna get to it, and it's always ticking in the back of your mind. And it's that energy that really is wasted, because, you know, it's not serving you. By doing that to yourself, you're better off, like you said, creating that list, and then figuring out how you can prioritize things and just get it done.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah. And I always, you know, I say to my clients, let's just go one step at a time. You know, once we know, kind of where we want to focus on, let's just start with one thing and see where it goes, we don't need to tackle everything all at once. And that's why getting everything that's going on in your head out on paper, and being able to just categorize it and see where it fits in your life. And really then say, well, you know, these 10, things have been taking up so much space, in my mind, but when I look, none of them are actually, you know, life or death situations. Yeah, you know, they can actually go to the very bottom of the list, and, you know, paying my team or doing the super or paying bills, or whatever those might be, they need to be the priority. And if I get to the other things, then great if I don't, you know, the world's not going to fall apart.
Donna Hann
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Right. It's been so interesting talking to you and digging you digging into all of this stuff with you. And there's so much more like, we could just go on and on with this stuff. Because it's so different aspects to it. And, you know, just so much and especially when we're talking about human behavior, like, yeah, so many different pathways, we could go down, but if people are wanting to know more or work with you, I mean, you create some really cool reels on Instagram, I just want to say, so entertaining, I love them. But what's your handle if people want to go and check out your reels or check out more of what you're doing and get involved with you?
Kell
Yes. So on Instagram, I am at Kell Quarrell. So KELL and qu a double R E double L quite a mouthful. and my website is kellquarrell.com.au
Donna Hann
Awesome. Thank you so much for talking with me today, Carl, it's been a blast. And I have to get you back again. And we can talk about maybe another facet of what you do. Because you're such a powerhouse of having experience in different industries within business, but also working with women as you have for the last 25 years. And all the work that you've done in the vents and all of that kind of stuff. I'm sure there's probably more that we can share together and get out there into the world to let people know more about you but also to learn from your amazing skill set that you have.
Kell
Thank you. I would love that. And thank you so much for having me.
Donna Hann
Yeah, you're so welcome. It's been heaps of fun.
Donna Hann
Thank you for listening to this episode of The She's in Business podcast. If you enjoyed it, please share it on Instagram and Facebook and I'd be so grateful if you could leave me a review on iTunes. Be sure to include your business name and Insta handle so I can give you a shout out to if you want to know more about what I do the programs that I offer, then head over to www dot Donna hann.com and follow me on Instagram at Donna underscore Hann underscore SIB. I hope this podcast inspires you to be courageous and take action in carving out your very own business by design where you can avoid burnout and shine like the universe is yours.
